


A Hundred or so Hellos

by iwillstillopenthewindow



Series: A Hundred or so Hellos [1]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: M/M, Reincarnation, character death but not really
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-09
Updated: 2014-06-09
Packaged: 2018-02-04 00:59:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,482
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1761275
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iwillstillopenthewindow/pseuds/iwillstillopenthewindow
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He has lost count of how many times they've met, of how many "hellos" they've exchanged, and of how many "goodbyes" came and went.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Hundred or so Hellos

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote a fanfic sort of like this for Nezushi before. It's called "Meeting You". 
> 
> EDIT: ["Another Hello"](http://archiveofourown.org/works/1901892) is up! It's Hinata's side of the story.

If ever Kageyama has to name one thing he absolutely liked about Hinata (not that he'll admit it out loud anyway), it will be the fact that the other boy practically glows. 

 

He may be on the verge of collapsing, but just one toss from Kageyama is all that it takes to get him back on his feet, a huge smile on his face as he jumps.

( _No, not 'jump'. 'Flies'._ Kageyama corrects himself.)

(That is what happens to his heart too. It does not simply _jump_. It _flies_. For Hinata. He wonders who'll soar higher, his heart or the reason for its beating?)

(He also wonders if Hinata's heart flies for him as well. He hopes it does.)

When Hinata glows, those around him get drawn in. Kageyama knows this of course, having been pulled in by those big amber eyes numerous times already. He's lost count.

The last time it happened was during a match of theirs two days ago. One more point. Just one more point, and they'll be out of the game. But if they take that point, then they'll win. Hinata, who he thought will be the most nervous out of them all, gives him a pat on the back, a thumbs up, and a "Don't get all nervous, kageyama! Let's win this". They do.

 

And so here they are. One more match. One more until they go to nationals. And the idiot is late.

Kageyama rummages in his bag for his phone and flips it open angrily. He starts dialing Hinata's number as he walks away from their team. It only takes two rings for Hinata to pick-up.

"Oi! Hinata!" Kageyama yells into his phone.

"I'M SORRY I COULDN'T SLEEP YOU SEE AND I—"

"Where the hell are you, dumbass?!"

"I'M ALMOST THERE ALR- Ah, I'm sorry excuse me!"

Kageyama just sighs, looks back at the group and waves off the worried looks he's getting from Daichi and Sugawara. "Are you actually running here?" He leans back on a wall, his other hand pinching the bridge of his nose. "Idiot."

(There is no bite in his insult and he hopes that Hinata knows this as well.)

He smirks at the 'I'm not an idiot you are' Hinata shouts from the other line.

"Couldn't you have taken your bike?"

"Got a busted tire."

"Well you better run faster because the game's almost starting, idiot Hinata."

"DAMN IT KAGEYAMA YOU- _screech_."

Surprised by the loud sound, Kageyama flinches away from his phone. A second later, the rest of the Karasuno team are running towards him. He doesn't notice, he's too busy shouting into his phone. He screams endless "Hinata Hinata oi you idiot Hinata are you okay Hinata Hinata Hinata"s  and doesn't stop even though his heart stops flying when he realizes that the line is dead.

"Everyone, in the bus!" The captain's voice is booming and powerful, enough to make heads turn their way.

Three minutes later, they are on their way to the hospital. Kageyama doesn't speak, none of them do. His hand grips his phone like it's his only lifeline, hoping that it'll ring and when he opens it it'll be Hinata who's calling and he'll say _"Hahaha fooled you! Who's the idiot now?"_ and he'll hear him glow.

(But really, he just hopes that he gets to hear his voice again.)

Twenty minutes later, they are at the hospital, just outside the room Hinata is in. Kageyama doesn't speak. The coach is on the phone with someone, Hinata's mom, probably. He hears the words _accident, car crash, lost a lot of blood, chances of survival_ \- Kageyama wills himself to stop listening.

Thirty minutes later, they are disqualified from the game. Kageyama doesn't speak. None of them do. If Hinata's here though- Kageyama wills himself to stop thinking. To stop thinking of oranges and reds and ambers and loud idiots.

Two hours later, some of them are saying their goodbyes (Kageyama realizes how much he hates that word). There are only three of them left.

Three hours later, Kageyama is alone (He realizes that this is another word that he hates and should be erased from the dictionary). Sugawara and Daichi have left, and Hinata's mom is inside the room.

Four hours later, Kageyama hears a deafening sound. He sees nurses rushing in and doctors giving orders. As a pained _"Shouyou!"_ comes from the room, Kageyama wills himself to stop feeling.

 

(Kageyama stops hoping as well.)

 

 

* * *

 

 

If Kageyama has to describe Hinata Shouyou's funeral in one word, it would be _bland_. He hates it. Everyone, including himself, is decked out in black and white and _what were they thinking, choosing to wear dull colors for Hinata_. He stands at the back during the whole thing. The whole Karasuno team is there, of course, and invites him to sit next to them. He replies with a shake of his head and looks down. He stares at the orange (black and white just doesn't suit Hinata) watch on his wrist until everything is over.

Kageyama doesn't cry. Tanaka, Nishinoya, and the others do. Kageyama has done his crying. Kageyama also doesn't go near the coffin. He doesn't want to see him, pale yet at peace. He wants to keep the last time he saw Hinata in his memory, just after the match, smiling and bright and glowing and _alive_.

 

Just as he should be.

 

 

* * *

 

 

It's only been days and Kageyama hates it. He hates that he needs to wear his earphones every day, with the volume of his player almost at full blast. He can't stand the silence that he used to love before. He hates that his tosses are going everywhere during practice. He hates that when someone calls "Kageyama!" he immediately looks down either to his left or his right. He hates that he hates it.

He doesn't attend volleyball practice and the team can't contact him because he has thrown away his cellphone and he has no plans of buying a new one. He lies in his bed sometimes and wonders what Hinata would say if he sees him in this state.

There are times when he dreams of Hinata and he's relieved to see that the Hinata in his dreams is exactly the way he remembers him. But there is a time when his dream turns into a nightmare and Hinata wasn't glowing and he hears him say "I thought we're going to stand on top of the world?" and that's when he wakes up.

He has trouble sleeping for a week.

  
  
( _We're_ , not _I'm_. _We're_ , not _you're_. So what's the point if you're not here, idiot.)

 

 

* * *

 

 

Kageyama is twenty and he wonders (he's been doing that a lot) if this is what Hinata felt a few years ago.

He is on his way home when he sees a child crossing the street and a car that is going a bit too fast.

(He also sees oranges, ambers, and unwelcomed red)

He is running before he knows it.

And so he wonders if Hinata was in this much pain before or if it is just him.

(Although this is nothing compared to what he has felt before.)

He hears screams and maybe an ambulance before he sees oranges and ambers. He lets himself get drawn in. _'What a familiar feeling.'_ he thinks before he can no longer do so.

 

A few days later and the former Karasuno volleyball team members are all wearing blacks and whites again.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Kageyama Tobio is fifteen years old and does not know anyone with the name 'Hinata Shouyou'.

 

He does not expect a basketball to hit the back of his head and he certainly does not expect his heart to do somersaults when he sees unruly hair and an apologetic smile.

(and oranges and ambers)

The offender is a meter away from him, a hand on his nape as he keeps on bowing and apologizing. Kageyama mutters an "it's okay" and the boy stands straight.

"I'm... really sorry," He is looking at anywhere but Kageyama. "They keep on telling me that I suck and all but I just... Ah. I'm Hinata Shouyou by the way."

(oranges ambers oranges ambers)

Kageyama does not know why his chest his hurting right now. "Kageyama... Kageyama Tobio." He says slowly.

Hinata opens his mouth, ready to say something else, when his name is called from the court. He runs back to them after another quick apology and a goodbye.

"Wait!" Kageyama does not know why he's doing this but Hinata's already stopped in his tracks and has turned back to him _what is he thinking what what_ \- "You... You must have a specialty of some sort right? If they still keep you in the club even though you're bad at it...?"

As soon as he voiced the question, Hinata's lips form a huge smile.

(and oranges and ambers and)

"I can jump really high, you know!"

(and he swears that he's glowing)

 

Kageyama collapses the moment he reaches home.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Kageyama Tobio is fifteen years old and he knows someone with the name 'Hinata Shouyou'.

 

For some reason, Hinata seems to think that they are friends. They're in the same year, their classrooms just next to each other. Sometimes Hinata visits him when it's time for lunch, and if he's persuasive enough, sometimes he drags Kageyama over to his classroom.

During those little visits, Hinata goes on and on about club, his family, the new video game he bought the other day, how his seatmate, Tsukishima, is annoying the hell out of him- basically everything under the sun. He finds himself wondering (yet again) how he managed to not be aware of Hinata the past years. Hinata is a ball of energy. He is oranges and ambers and he is glow- Kageyama stops.

 

He ignores Hinata for the next two days.

 

 

* * *

 

 

On the third day, Kageyama waits for the boy to come bounding in his classroom. He decides that this is different from before. He is not sure why or how this is happening, why he knows Hinata but he knows the familiar feeling in his chest and _that_ is exactly the reason why he is willing to tread down this path.

Lunch comes and goes, but there are no shouts of "Kageyamaaaaa" or angry "Why the hell were you ignoring me, you idiot?!" and so there is no comeback of "Takes an idiot to know one" or annoyed "Shut up, dumbass"s.

Oh well. There is still tomorrow.

 

(The prospect of 'tomorrow' with Hinata makes him undeniably happy and leaves him hoping-)

 

 

* * *

 

 

Tomorrow comes and Kageyama spends lunch in his seat, with his earphones on, the volume of his music player at full blast.

 

The day after tomorrow comes but nothing changes.

And the next day.

And the next day.

And the next day.

 

(-oh.)

 

He does not know why or how this whole thing with Hinata is happening, but he spends the rest of his days waiting (hoping?) for another chance.

 

(He's going to have to teach Hinata how to look both ways before crossing the street _that fucking idiot_.)

 

 

* * *

 

 

Kageyama Tobio is twenty-five years old and is the tutor of seventeen-year-old  Hinata Shouyou.

 

The first time that Hinata aces a quiz, Kageyama takes him out for some ice cream. When he sees that Hinata is about to cross the street even though the light's red, he reaches out and pulls him back to the sidewalk.

He is furious. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!"

"I-I'm sorry."

"ARE YOU NOT USING THAT HEAD OF YOURS?" He grabs the smaller boy's collar and now they are so close. "WHAT IF THERE WAS A CAR? WHAT IF YOU DIED?"

Kageyama sees himself in Hinata's amber eyes. He sees his own eyes glaring back at him and the scowl that his lips formed.

(He tries his best to ignore the fear that is evident in his eyes.)

"I'm sorry."

Hinata's voice is soft and his eyes do not leave his. The way he's acting is almost like... almost like he understands. Kageyama is the one who looks away first. He gives his own apology and promises to buy him two popsicles to make up for how he acted. Hinata brightens in an instant.

( _Glows_. He's _glows_ in an instant.)

 

 

* * *

 

 

He wakes up to the shrill sound of his mobile phone's ringtone.

 

Mrs. Hinata... emergency... shouyou... robbers...knife...

 

He runs, not bothering to change out of his pajamas.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Kageyama Tobio is eighteen years old and is the boyfriend of eighteen-year-old  Hinata Shouyou.

 

They have been dating for three years now, their longest run yet. Kageyama is happy. Hinata is happy. He's glowing.

They have been dating for three years now. Three years of bad insults, fights, kisses, hugs, making-ups, of feeling alive. Kageyama wonders if this is it.

(He hopes that it is.)

There is a movie that Hinata wants to watch no matter what, so of course, there they are at the cinemas. The snack bar, unfortunately, doesn't have Hinata's favorite chips in stock. The boy looked up at Kageyama and said that he'll just go run to the nearest convenience store and pick one up and he _promises_ that he'll be back before the movie even starts (because Kageyama has absolutely no interest in the film and is only here because Hinata's here).

Kageyama holds up a hand to stop Hinata's rambling. "I'll go. You just go in already."

"But!"

"No buts."

He waits until a reluctant Hinata is inside the theater before heading out. It is 8 o'clock pm and there is no way he's letting him go out alone.

(He's learned his lesson)

He is on his way back when a firetruck drives past him. His heart stops. He doesn't move and hopes and hopes and hopes and wishes that it doesn't turn left _please don't turn left-_

(many many many times)

"HINATA!"

(is it not enough?)

 

Three years are not enough.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Kageyama Tobio is twenty-nine years old, a doctor, and is working overtime.

A train got derailed and victims are being rushed over and this is already the third person that he's failed to save. The nurses wheel in another person and he sees _oranges and ambers and unwelcomed red_ and he tries even harder but!

 

He takes the boy's clipboard from one of the nurses, skipping his name, and writes down the time.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Kageyama Tobio is forty-years-old and he is thankful because he still hasn't met Hinata Shouyou.

 

"WATCH OUT!"

He is pushed out of the way and he hears a gunshot a second after.

 

(oranges and ambers and unwelcomed red)

 

 

* * *

 

 

Kageyama Tobio is seven years old when his mother introduces him to six-year-old  Hinata Shouyou, their neighbor.

 

They exchange hellos and Kageyama dashes back inside their house and up to his room.

He doesn't hear from the Hinata's ever again.

(He didn't expect to.)

 

 

* * *

 

 

Kageyama Tobio is twenty-eight years old and he is fucking tired of everything.

 

He runs away from oranges and ambers. He should be safe. _He_ should be safe.

He dreams of Hinata and sometimes he sees someone else with him. It hurts but he welcomes the pain. He wants Hinata to fly and to glow and if _he can_ but _without him_ then okay.

The next day, he finds out that Hinata is working part-time at a convenience store. _Fuck fuck fuck fuck_

 

He goes there again after a day and there is a different person behind the counter now. He asks about the boy the other day and he describes him perfectly because _how can he not_ and his heart sinks when the cashier shakes his head sadly.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Kageyama Tobio is eighteen years old again and he has decided not to fall in love with Hinata Shouyou anymore.

(Impossible.)

He finds his resolve breaking when he sees the sad smile on Hinata's face after he says 'no'.

 

He finds himself breaking when he doesn't see him in class later that week.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Kageyama Tobio is twenty-two years old and has just been confessed to by Hinata Shouyou.

 

He is about to reject him when Hinata quietly asks, "Why do you do that to yourself?"

Kageyama is surprised because out of all the times that he has met Hinata (he's lost count again), this is the first time that he has asked him that.

"...Do what?"

"THAT! Ever since we've met (it's been three weeks, four days, ten hours, twenty-two minutes, and four seconds - this one, Kageyama knows) you've been acting like it's the last time you'll ever get to see me and you're trying to say goodbye!" Hinata points at him accusingly as though he committed a crime.

(He has. A lot of times. Against Hinata.)

"Maybe it is."

"What?"

"Maybe it is," Kageyama repeats. "Maybe it is the last time. You'll never know for sure."

"What, and you do?"

"No, I don't!" His voice is getting louder now. "And that's what's killing me!"

Hinata is silent. Kageyama glares down at him and mutters a "that's that" and moves to walk away.

"You are an idiot."

He stops and stomps his way back to Hinata. "What. did. you. say?"

"I said that you're an idiot." The shorter boy is not in the least intimidated and glares right back at him.

"An idio-"

"Yes, an idiot. Bakageyama. Yeah, that's a good name. I'll call you that starting today." Kageyama is ready to retort but Hinata doesn't give him a chance.

"Let's say that today is the last time. (The intensity of Kageyama's glare weakens at this. Yet another _'last time'_ , eh.) I also don't know if it is. But I do not want to live the rest of my life saying goodbye. If, today is the last time, you know what would be good Kageyama?" Hinata pauses for a bit, then reaches up to cup Kageyama's cheeks. "If today is the last time, I'd rather we make it a 'hello' we'll never regret instead of a 'goodbye'."

(And in that moment, Kageyama swears that he has never seen Hinata glow that beautifully.)

And so they do.

 

The 'last time' still comes.

 

It comes in the form of an incurable sickness, and Kageyama is not sure if this is better than accidents or worse.

He stays beside Hinata even though he's out of _oranges_ and only _ambers_ are left of him. This time, Kageyama allows himself to hope again. But the end still comes.

"Hello, Kageyama." His voice is so weak and even the ambers are threatening to leave him.

Kageyama tightens his grip on Hinata's hands. He doesn't cry. He doesn't cry. Because Hinata's not crying, so he won't cry. _He won't._

"Hello, Hinata."

 

(And he is still glowing.)

 

Kageyama attends Hinata's funeral this time.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Kageyama Tobio is fifteen years old and is in the Karasuno volleyball club with fifteen-year-old Hinata Shouyou.

 

If ever Kageyama has to name one thing he absolutely liked about Hinata (not that he'll admit it out loud anyway), it will be the fact that the other boy practically glows.

He may be on the verge of collapsing, but just one toss from Kageyama is all that it takes to get him back on his feet, a huge smile on his face as he jumps.

( _No, not 'jump'. 'Flies'._ Kageyama corrects himself.)

(That is what happens to his heart too. It does not simply _jump_. It _flies_. For Hinata. He wonders who'll soar higher, his heart or the reason for its beating?)

 

He has found out that it's the latter.

 

(He also wonders if Hinata's heart flies for him as well. He hopes it does.)

 

He has also found out that yes, it does.

 

It scares him that everything is going so well this time around.

It scares him that today's their last match before the nationals and _Hinata's late again._

 

(He feels him glowing and he feels the oranges and the ambers and he also feels the fear.)

 

His hands are shaking as he takes his phone out of his bag and dials Hinata's number. He makes his way out of the building. Two rings.

"...Hello, Hinata?"

Kageyama is scared he is frightened because it's been five seconds and Hinata's not answering not again not again not again not aga-

 

"Hello, Kageyama."

 

(And he sees oranges and ambers and oranges and ambers)

He turns and his heart flies at the sight of Hinata drenched in sweat, his bicycle beside him.

(and Hinata's glowing.)

 

"Hello."

 

 

* * *

 

 

"Are we still aiming to stand on top of the world?"

 

  
( _We're_ , not _I'm_. _We're_ , not _you're_.)

 

 

"Obviously, idiot."

 

 

* * *

 

 

Kageyama Tobio is fifteen years old and is in the Karasuno volleyball club with fifteen-year-old Hinata Shouyou.

 

Kageyama Tobio is eighty years old when he attends the funeral of eighty-year-old Hinata Shouyou.

 

Kageyama Tobio is eighty-two years old when he whispers 'hello', is fifteen years old again and is standing on top of the world with Hinata Shouyou.

 

 

 


End file.
